When talking is too hard
Speech is often the first thing to go and the last thing to come back. Holding up a phone is not a failure to communicate — it is communicating.
Afterwards: sorting out what happened
Person A
What I remember
Only what you actually recall. Gaps are allowed and expected — write UNKNOWN where there's nothing.
Things worth saying out loud during this
- “I believe you're telling me what you remember.”
- “I don't remember that, and I'm not saying it didn't happen.”
- “Can we write down the parts we both agree on?”
- “I need a break from this conversation, and I'm coming back to it.”
If a disagreement involves safety, money, or something either of you can't let go of, that belongs with a couples counsellor or another neutral professional — not a webpage.